Jul 05

Your View vs. the World

A friend sent me this video a number of months ago and it is one that all women should watch… it is time to see ourselves through the eyes of others!

Jun 21

Starting a new relationship after one has ended

The following is a guest post from Handy Casino.

Starting a new relationship can be hard if you are fresh out of an old one and still bearing the scars. In the past it seems that partnerships lasted far longer than they do today, but as times change so do societal norms and moving on now seems to be commonplace within any age group.

Experiencing a breakup and starting afresh may be painful but it can also be challenging and exciting when you meet someone new. But is it possible to move on to a new relationship without taking old baggage with you, and how can you deal with the past and let go successfully?

Regret nothing and embrace the past as a learning experience

Not every relationship is equal to the feeling of winning the jackpot at a top casino like http://www.handycasino.de  and a good relationship doesn’t just happen. It takes time and patience from both parties and often only one is willing. In order to move on you need to look at the past as a learning experience and not harbour regrets that will influence your future. By letting go and moving forward you are admitting you are accepting of the past and embracing the present.

Don’t look at past relationships as failures

If you go into a new relationship with baggage from the past it can negatively affect your future. You need to let go and not see your past relationships as failures, but as events that have ended and you have learnt and moved on from. Your psyche may need some time to recover but it is important to remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work and that you could not do it on your own.

Embrace the benefits of moving on

It can be a big ego boost to move on to a new relationship soon after an old one has ended, but do not move on before you are ready. There are major benefits to letting go and moving on but you need to have allowed yourself a grieving period in order to be in a good mental space to go forward. Remind yourself of the benefits of letting go and embrace the new and unknown rather than being scared or uncertain. Leave past baggage behind and avoid dragging old issues into a new relationship whenever possible.

Jun 20

Weddings over! Now What?

First I want to say thank you to all my friends and family that helped us make our wedding day one of the most spectacular days in our lives!  We had an absolute blast.  Now the big question comes to the surface… Now what?

We literally spent a year planning this day.  Most evenings and weekends were consumed by all the big but mostly little details.  Now… I find myself with some extra time on my hands.  Although the “baby” question is coming up now and again, it is not something that we are consuming ourselves with.  If we are blessed with little mini-mes and mini-hims we will be ecstatic!  But those who know me know I can’t stay “not busy” for long.re your

So I went to my best friends (and mine) favourite book store!  I picked up a book calls “Where will you be five years from today?

First step is done… I cracked the spine :)

Now the real work starts.  I love this book because it takes a simple and deliberate approach to mapping out where a person wants to take their life.  Here is a preview and I recommend if you are wanting to give yourself a huge push to buy this book!

1) List your values (five)

2) Write out your mission

3) Describe your dreams

4) Now turn those dreams into goal (S.M.A.R.T. ones please!)

5) Create goals in all aspects of your life (The Wheel of Life)

6) Break these goals into chuncks

7) Now… Do it!

Whatever it takes to get started is what my plan is… starting tomorrow with an early morning walk with the dog.  This will be great for both the body & mind!

~ Go be the best you can and challenge yourself to find a whole new level!

Jun 13

Who Creates Your Future?

It is About You

May 20

Audi presents Spock vs Spock

Star Trek into Darkness  was released last week and amongst all the buzz a customer of mine showed me the new Audi commercial that features Spock vs Spock.  It is definitely worth checking out… I laughed out loud!

Apr 16

Revolutionizing The Credit Card Application Process

One of the most important things about new discoveries and advancements in technology is to transition how people get things done into a more convenient, time saving manner.  The internet made shopping for retail products and services far more convenient for you as a consumer, but recent developments also made shopping for personal financial products a simple process from the comfort of your own home.

When you decide to acquire a credit card, either for the first time or to add to the collection, the process is very trying on your patience as a consumer.  In today’s environment, speed and convenience are two of the most important aspects of product shopping.  The traditional process of applying for a credit card is to speak with a provider, and run down all the available options in a repetitive back and forth negotiation that takes up much of your personal time.  This process is no longer beneficial in today’s market, and in some cases actually costs you more money than you otherwise could afford to save.

Thankfully, the internet revolutionized how you can compare credit cards in Canada, and save time and money while doing so.  Online credit card comparison websites act as one stop shops that allow you to compare the best advertised credit cards and their corresponding interest rates from some of the top providers across Canada.  Many of the providers listed on these sites are lesser known companies that operate independently of the major banks, and some of these lesser known credit card firms offer better deals than what you could find through the major banks.

Online comparison shopping is more beneficial than the traditional application process because it puts control in your hands instead of the credit card provider.  Under the traditional process, you walk into the office of a creditor and leverage what you can from the account manager.  But many providers institute a dictation of terms that are often more beneficial for their business as opposed to your financial well-being.  These types of firms rely on the perceived naivety of applicants, particularly younger Canadians, who believe that the one offer from a provider is a take-it-or-leave-it term.

But you can avoid going through these strenuous situations by comparing all viable credit card providers within your area from the comfort of your own home.  This way, you can review all the relevant offers from each of the providers competing for your business, and select the option that is best suited to your financial needs.  This puts you back in control of your finances as you know you can go onto a different provider if your first option is unwilling to negotiate more affordable terms.

To some people, the expanding power of the internet is both bane and boon.  But if you want to find the best credit card to help you build an admirable credit score, the internet will be a boon to you and a bane to the credit card companies.

The above is a guest post.

Apr 11

Not Every Little Girl Dreams of their Wedding Day!

Not Every Girl Dreams of Her WeddingMaybe an odd topic considering I am getting married in less than a month but the reality is that the planning wasn’t as easy (or as hard) as some people make it out to be.  I imagine every bride’s trip to the altar is different; even if we use the exact same checklist, the items that stick out as most important to each bride are different.  For me… the hardest part was trying to actually picture the day! 

I’ve run into so many women that dreamed about getting married ever since they were a little girl.  And if I am completely honest I’ve thought about the day a number of times over the years, but where I think it differs for me is that I pictured being married not the wedding itself.

Like many women… geez I hope I am not alone in this… in past relationships I pictured myself being with the person forever.  In some cases that was a horrifying experience hence why the relationship is no longer.  At one point when I was dating I would be picturing this on the very first date and by the time we finished our first drink I had us going through a very messy divorce in my mind… hmm, maybe that is why there was never a 2nd date :)

I grew up with parents whom were very family oriented.  Our extended family (grand-parents, aunts & uncles, cousins) didn’t live close but my parents made it a point to visit them a minimum once per year.  Between family visits we always received updates as an attempt to keep these close bonds and even within our immediate family, we made a point to sit together for as many meals as possible.  Although there were no cell phones in the early years, the rule was that we didn’t answer the phone during that time.  When family issues arose (like that ever happened) we dealt with them as a group.  I’m not saying that things were rosy and perfect every day… but for the most part I felt that my family was there to turn to if I was ever in trouble, in doubt, or needed to celebrate; they were there for everything and anything.

Now that we are all grown up and distance (and life) sometimes plays a factor, we are still pretty close in comparison to others.  In many cases my siblings can still finish my sentences and know how I am feeling before I even open my mouth.  Family to me, even during the busiest times (although mom & dad may disagree when I miss a few too many weekly visits) is still #1 to me.

So back to this wedding thing… Growing up mom & dad were married.  I never thought about the day they got married 1) I wasn’t invited and 2) it was not a long lasting event… their marriage was!  Events are exactly just that, a moment in time.  I was more fascinated by a relationship that was able to span years, grow, evolve, and flourish.  With so many relationships crumbling in today’s society, my parents were a bit of an oddity (in a good way).  I grew up with no dissolution that being in a committed relationship was hard work.  Our family wasn’t a fairy tale (okay maybe Cinderella with all the cleaning we did… haha had to put that in Mom!) and I imagine they would say neither was their relationship.  Life throws curve balls which results in peaks and valleys.  The strength of relationships is tested and the strong ones survive.

I quite admired my parent’s relationship (and still do).  They didn’t always agree on every subject or each approach taken while raising their kids but they always stood by each other and supported whichever stance they agreed to take… seriously it was a futile attempt to break through that iron wall once built, we tried!

As an adult I admire it their relationship that much more, knowing exactly how hard it is to run with an idea that we may not be wholly invested in.  The powerful message for me was that they could each step back and trust in their spouse that it would work out if they did it together; in most cases a mutual compromise was reached that was a blend of their ideas, approach, and personalities.

I’ve tried to emulate them in my relationships, attempting to see the bigger picture as a couple not simply from my own perspective.  I have not always been successful but I think them having 38+ years of practice gives them a bit of a leg up.

I was finally able to picture my wedding day when I stripped out all the “stuff” and reminded myself that it is a celebration of us committing to each other for the long hall.  It really is probably one of the easiest things we are ever going to do… the hard part starts the day after when we realize that every decision now impacts two and not just one.

A new group of lessons await us just around the corner… good thing I knew they were there and didn’t think it was going to be “Happily Ever After!” without a bit of elbow grease on both our parts every day.

So if you have any advice for a soon to be newly married couple, send us your comments below!

Apr 01

How to Deal with a Long-Term Relationship Breakup

Relationships do not seem to last as long as they did in the past. There are probably many societal reasons for this but whatever the cause, dealing with a long term relationship breakup can be one of the most painful things you will ever go through. As a consequence, it is worth considering why you are suffering so much and if there is any way feelings can be understood, so that we can learn from them.

Why does it still hurt even when a break up or marriage failure was necessary and desirable?

Some people say receiving a Decree Absolute is a terrible day as it officially states the marriage is over and was, in essence, a failure. This is not good for our psyches as it means that not only are we not in that relationship, but we also have to cope with the fact that it represents a huge disappointment. After all, our plans and dreams with the person we hoped we would be with forever have been dashed.

Why does divorce or breakup feel so unsettling?

Usually, everything changes and some people have likened a break up to bereavement. Everything you relied on will probably have changed. This affects your identity; you are no longer part of a couple, no longer a husband or wife and a break up even impacts on friendship groups. You have no idea what will come next. Will you need to move? Will you always be alone? Can you face another relationship, especially if you have been with someone for a long time? Finding a professional counsellor may well be really beneficial at this time.

Should I hide my feelings, grit my teeth and just carry on as normal?

This is not recommended, as it is worth taking note of all the mood swings you will probably experience. If you bottle up these extreme feelings then often the pain is prolonged. Acknowledge how you feel, work through it in your mind with a trusted confidante or professional. Maybe it is worth keeping a journal and writing about feelings and/or fears. This can allow you to get out of the rut and banish resentment, anger or negativity.

How can I possibly carry on?

Making future plans is probably essential. When we have no goals, nothing to plan for, nothing to look forward to, we can find ourselves feeling depressed. Think of this time as an opportunity to pursue things you couldn’t do before. It might be as simple as an exercise class or taking a painting holiday. The important thing is to remind yourself there is another way and you are going to do your best to build your future.

What can I do to make myself feel better?

Look after yourself, begin new routines and give yourself time to recover. Surround yourself with people who care, but also make every effort to find new social groups and friendships. Learn to see what suits your mood, keep alert to what your head and body are telling you and maybe explore different places, activities or interests. This might help you keep away from any addictive behaviour like drugs, alcohol or over eating to compensate for loss.

What do I do with all the memories and things I don’t want to keep hold of?

It’s funny how sometimes music can trigger an exact memory and, at least at the beginning, it is worth sorting through items you no longer want to have round you. These might be DVDs you both used to watch, CDs, games you played together or memorabilia that represents a time past. Don’t be afraid to have a good sort out and maybe make some money to invest in your future, your independence and the next chapter of your life.

This post was brought to you by www.musicmagpie.com where you can get cash for all your old DVDs, CDs and Games today.

Mar 22

Paper Towns: A Book Review

papertownsAt some point in our existence we’ve contemplated on running away—from home, from routine, from life itself. Maybe it’s because we got tired of going through the same things over and over again, or maybe we just want a complete reset. To do this, we all know that we must stay away from familiar surroundings and our usual crowds. It takes a lot of courage and maturity to accomplish this mighty task, and turning points like this does not choose a particular age or time—it can sneak up on you, even when you’re too young or inexperienced. Such is the central theme of the novel Paper Towns by young adult fiction writer John Green.

The story centered on the life of neighbors Quentin Jacobsen and Margo Roth Spiegelman, who were childhood playmates until High School made them move into different circles. One night Margo knocked on Quentin’s window, asking for help, and they spent the night pulling pranks as revenge on people who did Margo wrong. The antics were all Margo’s ideas, and they’re all hilarious and inventive that you’d think to yourself you should’ve done it when you were a teen. Aside from playing online games over at www.foxybingo.com or spending all night blogging at Tumblr, we should’ve squeezed an evening of spontaneity and adventure just before graduation. Something we can tell our grandchildren about.

Anyways, after that eventful night when Quentin had the time of his life, Margo disappeared. She left with the barest of clues: a poster, Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass, a note. Not one to give up on her, Quentin enlisted the help of his best friends to look for Margo. Their search took them to the most unlikely places, and made them learn things about themselves and about each other. The quest also made Quentin realize how much he doesn’t know about Margo, despite being in love with her.

Popular John Green novels The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska are more intense than this story. Their plots are also more romance-centric than the theme of this novel. Still, what will endear you to the book is the self-discovery you’ll confront when you’re done.

Mar 19

Making 2013 my Best Year Yet – Update

So it has been two months since starting my course with Robin Sharma and time I give you an update on how things are going.  We had our second conference call. I was unable to attend because an important client showed up with a project, but thankfully the calls are recorded so I still got the benefit of the information.

Change is hardest at the beginning, messy in the middle and glorious in the end. Since we are still at the messy stage this call was specific to answering our questions and concerns so that we as individuals could get clarification and make any corrections needed.  There were people from all around the world on the call. Some were doctors, lawyers, trainers and business people. It was reassuring to hear that regardless of ethnicity or career, we pretty much all had similar questions and concerns.

The three biggest reoccurring themes were fear, time and reassurance.  From a fear perspective, people were worried about criticism and failure.  Time was a concern in terms of managing it, how long before change would be noticed, taking on too much at once and when to take a break.  Everyone wanted some form of feedback that they were doing things correctly and that the results would come.

At the end of the day, change takes work. Successful change takes a lot of work and dedication.  There is no magic pill or easy road to take.  Everyone who has ever been hugely successful has gotten there by working really hard at their goals.  It is easy to stand on the outside of someone’s life and believe that their success or their “great” life was handed to them; that they are lucky or smarter or genetically different than the rest of us.  I bet if you had the chance to sit them down and ask them how they got their success; their answer wouldn’t be it got handed to them on a silver platter.

One other clear message came through to me on this call ~ don’t spend time doing something that shouldn’t have been done at all.  In other words, completing a task or spending time and effort on things that is not in line with your goals is counter productive to being successful. I will be keeping this in mind and making course corrections as I move forward.

How are your goals coming along?

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